What: Ooze Toobz (Strawberry)
Cost: Unknown (purchased by Eric and Katie)
I went over to my friends' house for nachos a few days ago only to find this tube of goo placed in front of me.
Immediately everyone around the table started speculating about the type of person who would buy a toothpaste tube full of neon pink syrup. Why does this product exist? Do you eat it with your fingers? Are all of our children going to have diabetes?
"You're going to eat that whole tube." One of my friends said to me.
"Haha" I replied. "Gross."
And then I kind of did.
It was hard not to. It was basically just really runny, extra-sweet strawberry jelly. You put a little bit on your finger to taste it, then a little bit more, then all of a sudden you look down and half the tube is gone and there are sticky pink spots all over your lap and the floor around you.
Picture Gushers lovingly harvested by Oompa Loompas and hand-squeezed into this tube. I like to imagine it this way so I can pretend it is a gourmet product and not just a tooth-rotting amount of high fructose corn syrup and dye.
The tube was passed around and everyone agreed it was ok, although no one would ever buy it for any other reason than to watch me eat it.
I tried it on some leftover tortilla chips and it was good. But not better than cheese.